A Unique Divine Expression! That's What you Are!
Hey sisters!!
Welcome back to the blog and welcome to a new month! I hope you’ve been taking care of yourselves, Mind Body & Spirit! As we end the fall season, this is a great time to go within and hibernate.
I plan on doing just that. This year has been a year full of amazing changes and growth, and as I prepare to re-introduce myself, as who I've always been since I was a little girl, I’d like to take this time to continue to get to know myself.
This year has been filled with getting back to the original me before the trauma and before the pain and survival skills. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for every moment because it pushed me to this place. There were times throughout my childhood when I really didn’t feel as though I would make or that I had a place on this earth.
I felt like God had more of a purpose for me, but my life wasn’t reflective of that. When I was a little girl early in my beginnings of life, I was often told that I was invaluable in words and actions, and I believed it and internalized it, it left such a deep hole in my soul that there was a place of emptiness and I used survival skills to fill that whole.
Childhood friends, family members, teachers, counselors, employers, and just about everybody I encountered pointed out the fact that I wasn’t quite like everybody else. I took this as a bad thing I thought it meant my uniqueness was a negative. I couldn’t quite see the beauty in it after some time.
In my early 20s, I had found the world of spirituality. I was excited to jump into yoga, meditation crystals, and metaphysics, and I embarked on a spiritual journey beyond my wildest dreams.
I was growing not only energetically, spiritually, and emotionally but within my abilities and metaphysically too. I was tapping into uncharted parts of myself, and remembering past lives of myself. I was decoding information inside of my DNA and became multi-dimensional and very multi-talented. This became the source of others envy and I met more people along the way that I allowed to continue to narrate my story.
I battled and struggled with this throughout my entire life. Even with the positive reinforcements that I was gaining in spiritual studies classes, workshops, initiation, self-healing, and more I still played small because deep inside of myself, I felt like I wasn’t worthy to accomplish the purpose that God has for me.
Once again, I was confusing the universe with what I said I wanted, and how I was behaving. I was going against the wise counsel and love of my ancestors & spirit guides. So I continued to battle between empowerment and depression. This held me back tremendously. I remember getting several readings from spiritualists throughout the years and every last one of them would say that I had within me everything that I needed and I was my biggest enemy, I was holding me back. I never understood this because I felt like I was working so hard for the opposite, but in actuality, that’s exactly what I was doing my lack of confidence in myself, and my inability to see myself as a spirit having a human experience limited the use of my gifts and abilities.
It wasn’t until many years of shadow work, and finally help from my inner child and the ultimate spiritualist in my life, my soulmate that I was finally able to get to the other side.
When he could see in me, all these things so many spiritualists have told me throughout the years and what I am right now, and he hadn't known me long at all, but it was as if he knew me my whole life. He spoke life into me, encouragement, and confidence without any strings attached, and he was the first person to see me as I truly am. He saw my spirit and made it OK to be me.
Once I conceded to myself that my uniqueness set me apart from some of my peers for protection, as well as greater inner standing and growth, I started to embrace my uniqueness. I started to understand that I wasn’t meant to be with everyone and that with a purpose as big as mine no wonder people were envious, jealous, and downright, haters.
Check out this Message From Spirit...
With this new internalized information and fear removed I am finally able to show up in the world authentically. I’m able to express myself unapologetically to the world without needing validation. I’m able to express my unique divinity and the abilities that I came to this earth with.
So why am I writing all of this? It's because I'm now bringing my spiritual gifts to the world. I’ve recently started doing daily tarot readings and I’ve been uploading these to TikTok and YouTube. I had been reading the Tarot cards for well over 10 years, but I was always so concerned about what people would think about me, and what people's opinions would be because not everyone approves and that’s OK.
Check out this video about How I Read the Tarot.
Today and every day, I'm learning to appreciate my authenticity and embrace my uniqueness and so should you! Stay tuned for amazing things coming from me in 2024!
It's already happening!
Until the next time loves!
Zipporah Banyay aka
Goddess Zee
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