Tales of a Narcissist- Part One
It all started with a simple greeting. “Good morning!” nothing too extravagant, just a good old gesture of manners. Hell, I was just speaking to be polite because we were all sitting in a room of silence and rude people. For all I know, they may have had a lot on their mind there I go again letting my perception get the better of me.
During this time in my life, I was feeling pretty good about myself, very empowered after what seemed like a long daunting life full of downs with very few ups. My life was finally spectacular and I felt that even though things weren’t perfect, I could not only see hope on the horizon, I felt it.
So I’m sitting on this platform waiting to speak about my healing experience. I was invited by someone who didn’t seem to care for me very much and the feeling was mutual. Let’s just say we had, few words, fierce stares, and disdain for being in each other’s company. There were some familiar faces there as well, after all, we got together often for a common purpose. Supposedly to lift one another and give each other the strength to get through life’s challenges.
I got there a little early, and so did he since nobody else was speaking, I thought I’d be the icebreaker. Little did I know a small gesture of kindness would lead to something much greater. After clearing his throat he says two words “Good morning”. I had heard him speak many times before and I would always perk up to hear what he had to say, he had such a way with words and it wasn’t in the typical southern drawl that the rest of them used.
I shared my truth with the group, and everyone gave their feedback. When I had the opportunity, I shared some information inside of the chat to invite those who cared to come to the event. I dropped my number and less than five seconds later he texted me enthusiastically and wrote “Please let me know the next time you speak I’d love to support you.” I thought oh wow, I'm finally making friends. Naivety doesn’t suit me well.
I had been in the city for over a year in Atlanta, Georgia and I absolutely did not fit in. I downright hated everything about the city and the people in it. It just was not my vibe, never was has been, and never will be, but I guess I needed the experience for nothing else, but to learn some valuable lessons. Oh yeah, and I lived in the actual city of Atlanta, not on the outskirts.
So I called him or maybe he called me, those details aren’t really that important. What I do know for sure is that I was lonely, and I was craving conversation with somebody who knew how to put more than two words together. We chatted for about two hours and it was such a kindred spirit experience that I found myself sharing personal details about myself and my life in such an open and honest manner that I scared myself.
I couldn’t contain the emotional release and how easily I was able to share this intimate energy with someone. I hadn’t even met him physically yet but obviously, I trusted and felt safe and comfortable with this person or maybe I just craved to talk with someone and tell them who I really was, not the delusion but the good the bad, and the ugly.
We went on to talk to each other for the next few days during my lunch break and sometimes late at night into the midnight hours. He made me feel alive and the feeling was kindred and he seemed to know all the right things to say. I felt like a bird taking flight after having a broken wing on the mend. I knew that my life was going to be different and I felt strongly that he would be a part of it but I had no idea what all would be entailed in the relationship details.
To be continued…
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