Loose Laces: Untying the Knots of Life's Lessons
Sometimes you just need to take a pause and slow the hell down.
I’m a rather intuitive individual but when I’m off track it is the polar opposite and I am 99% wrong about what I perceive a situation or person to be. I can really go down the rabbit hole of insane thinking if something does a real me back in. Usually when I backtrack, in hindsight, I could see exactly where the unintended detour started.
Let’s take yesterday, for example. I love my job, but my job comes with stressors that the average person would probably quit over. I practice yoga, meditation, and prayer but sometimes skip a day or two. Recently, I’ve had a lot going on in the left brain lane which is all the logical get things done or it won’t get done side of the street. ie: grocery shopping, laundry, driving to work, cleaning the house, anything that may be considered not necessarily pleasant, but definitely a part of adulthood and necessary for my life. In March alone, I moved to a new location just a short, five-minute up road geographical change I moved in with my partner, the love of my life, and we’re living together for the first time we’ve gotten furniture we’ve ordered furniture, I’ve traveled and adopted more clients at work, so needless to say it’s a lot going on outside of the norm.
Back to yesterday, I was rather frazzled and not really satisfied the entire day, but getting shit done. It’s been a while since I’ve practiced yoga almost 2 weeks with everything going on, so I made certain to put that on the calendar for the evening because it was just me and the cat and I wouldn’t have the extra pressures of cooking, etc. I had no idea how much I needed that until I started practicing. During my practice, I found myself very much in my headspace with thoughts swirling around and it took a while to get settled mentally. By the end of the practice, my energy shifted and was different, I began to slow down, halfway through the practice center, myself, and my thoughts and I became present. My only regret was the practice was rather short or maybe it seemed that way because my mind was all over the place. Short but impactful and I slept like a baby.
The next day, I found myself struggling with expression to someone close to me, and I felt like I wasn’t being seen or heard first thing in the morning all before I had my first cuppa coffee or interaction with anyone in the world. Big mistake note to self keep it on the surface before coffee, and meditation. I should be getting too deep with anybody before them with this Aries energy and Aries rising, that’s about to be a disaster.
So I start off to work and I’m actually in a pretty good headspace about the conversation. I’m thinking to myself I am actually accepting the way that things went and that this other person has the right and audacity to be exactly who they are. I read my morning readings and they’re both perfectly timed for the previous scenario. All is well and I’m off to do my job. I made some communications with my team member and found out that not only has she not done her job, but she wants me to do her job too. I snapped, lost my shit, and had a complete Ram moment, mentally first, and then I commenced to type in well over 60 words per minute inside of the instant messenger. I remained professional, of course, but assertive. If those keystrokes could feel my tone, it would definitely read restless, irritable, and discontent. How dare she? This wasn’t the first time either. This little instance here set the tone for my day up until lunch. I was negative, I had a nasty disposition and I was seriously considering other job opportunities.
I got a good vent out with the best-sounding board in town, my man! I’m so glad that he just listened this time. Listening goes a long way, sometimes people assume that people want feedback when they’re ranting but actually, they just need to have that emotional release and move the energy until it dissipates. Being able to hold space for another person is a very valuable asset. I had some food in my system, so part of my problem could’ve been that I was hungry too. After reflecting on the whole misunderstanding between myself, and the morning, I had to pause and make a decision at that moment to either continue having a shitty day or two. Try to get on the other side and return to that place of acceptance and presence. I remember that was the last time that I felt good.
“ The key to growth is the introduction of higher dimensions of consciousness into our awareness.”
Sometimes all it takes is a simple pause, to put things in perspective. I truly believe that’s why the present is a present it’s a gift. It’s a gift and solace away from the pain or worry of yesterday or tomorrow. I get an opportunity to analyze and take inventory of my current situation as it is and find acceptance in the moment. Acceptance is a very powerful experience. It allows space for peace to enter and centered thoughts and actions. By being in the present, and accepting the moment as it is, there’s less friction with other people and life in general. This allows me to flow instead of struggle.
It's easier said than done sometimes, but I’ve had enough experience with it to know that when life feels like a struggle that means I’m forcing something and I’m not on my spiritual square. The beauty of awareness is it affords me the ability to make the change any time and anywhere that I choose.
Zipporah Banyay
3-20-24
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